Plodding Through Plot Problems

Cover Concept Art

My last book came out on Valentine's Day this year (2017). I've been working on and off on another novella, but a few other things have taken from my book writing time AND, when I have been writing, it's been a struggle with my present work. There have been plot perplexities, which I am now working out...when I have the time.

It's not that I'm not writing.

This year I've done a lot of work for local news services and a magazine, not to mention editing and other business writing work. So, I have my excuses, I guess. (Don't we all?) We've been running Harbor House Writing Center this year and we opened Harbor BOOKs & Gifts in September, too.

I wanted to get the new Bayou Boys Adventure, Alien Ambush, out for Thanksgiving 2017 (because the story takes place over the holiday and addresses timely matters).

That may still be possible, but it will be a challenge. I have about fifteen writing days to write half the work (that's 15K words) and then it still has to go through editing and polishing and formatting within the three weeks following.

I may yet do it, but some days I just have too many other things on my mind and on my plate. And honestly, I'm pretty lazy, too. So, please, bear with me. Maybe say a little prayer for me as well.

"BEYOND INSANITY" Release Update

3D depiction of the cover

It is my pleasure to report the upcoming release of my new anthology BEYOND INSANITY: From the Launch Pad to New Dimensions, the follow-up to ROCKETMAN: From the Trailer Park to Insomnia and Beyond.

I finished writing the collection of poems, pictures and personal essays back in November. Since that time the book has gone through the editing and prepress (layout and design) processes and is now ready for print and publication.

I'm looking for a new place to do the official LAUNCH PARTY as HeART in the Square was canceled.  Hopefully Sat. Feb. 11 somewhere on Grays Harbor. Stay tuned. 

 I'd love to meet you; come out and see me!And I'll have volume one in this series, ROCKETMAN: From the Trailer Park to Insomnia and Beyond, along with my other books available, too.

About the Book:

ROCKETMAN: From the Trailer Park to Insomnia and Beyond took you to the outer limits of family humor. Now you can travel beyond funny, because there’s more where that came from in this all NEW collection of short stories, poems and pictures from the life and times of a kid at heart. Read and relate as you enjoy a wild ride through BEYOND INSANITY.

Like Patrick McManus, Bill Cosby, Dave Barry and Bill Bryson, the author takes you on familiar journeys that not only tug at your heart, but have you laughing in no time at all.

Included are such stories as: 

Youthful Mischief; Feelin’ Squirrelly; Amtrak Attack; You’ve Got a Friend?; STOO-PID; My First Car; Camping with the Comrades; Be Prepared to do a Good Turn Daily; Things that Bother Me; The Heart of a Man; Best Friend; High Waters, Musicals and Hoops; Mother and Me; Don’t Cry Over Filched Milk Money; Change; Quicksand; The Confidential Kid; On Writing (What Little I Know); Old Coots at Mickey D’s; Low Rider; It Happened on Halloween; Christmas Cheer; and the snot rippin’ The Day Renny Skäraosten Saved the North Coast.

Plus several poems, photographs and more!

If you can't wait until the official launch party, the book will be available on Amazon by February 1 to order in print or download for Kindle.

Finding My Insanity and Other News

Cover mock-up, the titled has changed to "Beyond Insanity"

I'm well on track for NaNoWriMo. In fact I should be finished with the draft by Thanksgiving. 

I'm not doing a novel, nor 50,000 words though. I'm doing about 20,000 for another anthology of short stories (see left). It should be released on Valentine's Day 2017 if all goes as planned.

Meanwhile, I'm working on a small audio project that has nothing to do with writing (it's a surprise).

And I'm working at the writing center (Harbor House). I'll be teaching a class, "What Publishing Path is Right for You?" on Nov. 19 (see the Harbor House website for more info on the class and other offerings for NaNoWriMo and more).

The BAYOU BOYS Book Trailer is Here!

Here's the new book trailer for the new omnibus of Voodoo Virus, Marsh Monster, and Playhouse Phantom called The BAYOU BOYS. Check it out.

Files for Feel-Good and Funny Farm Fodder Finished

At last, the final files for Chicken Poop on my Sole have been delivered for approval! 

The final proofing will take place over the next week and, if all continues smoothly, the release will take place on May 28th, as planned. (It should actually be available on Amazon by May 16.)

<Click on the image at the left to enlarge and read more.

Here's the Poop on Chicken Poop

Well, the Chicken Poop* is about to drop. 

I just realized  that all the files have to be finalized by May 11 and uploaded by May 12 with the proofing process completed by May 17 in order to meet the release date of May 28, 2016!

The good news is that the interior is nearly done and the cover has been designed (though the final art needs created). I also need to get back all the use agreements from the authors.

With only two weeks as of today (April 27) to get that all done I'd better step up my game!

*Chicken Poop on My Sole: Feel-Good Fodder from the Farm

Thought I'd Share a Short Story...

The Proposed Cover Re-Design

As some of you may know I'm re-issuing Rocketman my first collection of poems, personal essays and photographs with a new cover by early June. I'm also about halfway through writing the "sequel" (a second collection) Beyond Infinity which I intend to have out early fall. 

Here is a short story from volume one:

Little Sister

My little sister was annoying to a fault. I’m not talking about Janis; she and I grew up together and the two of us had an understanding. I’m talking about my little sister: Suzi. Suzanne as she was christened—the devil spawn that should have been named: munchkin-sized holy terror!

Suze came along five years after Janis. It was a surprise, much like an alien invading our home! I still remember the day mom brought all the cool stuff from the hospital. Bottles, diapers, a cute little hat, a bib, baby food samples, a rattle and all kinds of other swag you used to get for free just for having a baby. Man! What a way to score.

The new baby was, at first, a novelty, too, and quite adorable, really. That is until she could crawl. That was when the real exasperation began. Suddenly none of my stuff was sacred. And none of it was clean either. Rather, virtually anything and everything I owned became a chew toy. One minute my finely built Lincoln Log® cabin would be standing, the next moment it would be a pile of slimed kindling so drooled upon you couldn’t have started a fire with it if you’d have wanted. I’d find G.I. Joe® half naked and floating warily in the toilet bowl alongside another kind of log that was not Lincoln by nature. And I’d find my Matchbox® collection with the tires eaten off.

By the time she could walk she was into everything. The Pill swept through the house like a silent tornado leaving a path of destruction in her wake. Things would go missing, too. Puzzle pieces, game pieces, and my stash of penny candy—all eaten by this little “thing” with the strange and voracious appetite.

But, to my parents, she could do no wrong. Nothing was her fault. No, to them she was an angel. When the nose to my Teddy mysteriously evaporated and the plug to my rocket bank (on cover) vanished into thin air never to return I’d had it.

And then the following began!

Oh, my word! Was there no peace from this demon child? You’d think she loved me or something the way she toddled after me. Everywhere. She was interested in everything I did and her curiosity was maddening. I tried everything to dissuade her from tagging along. I persuaded her to lick the side of the deep freeze. That kept her pinned down…until mother found her. (Fortunately, Suzi wasn’t yet talking.) I tempted her into sticking her finger into the pencil sharpener one day. One turn of the crank and the siren began. I ran like mad.

By the time Suey was of school age she was okay. Yes, the scars healed up nicely. And she was pretty cute and, amazingly, still looking up to her big brother. I realized she really did love me and I loved her, too. However it wasn’t really until we were adults that we hit it off. Which is unfortunate, because she’s a wonderful person—kind, generous and (fortunately) forgiving.

Of course, now she’s one of my best friends and I wish she was around more. In fact, I’d even let her drool on my prized Mickey Mouse toy collection if that’s what it took to have her near.

New Author Joe Benjamin Releases First Book

Illustrated by Matthew Boffemmyer

It is my honor to announce the release of the first book by new author Joe Benjamin of Fresno, California. It is my honor because he is my son.

The new children's book, Silly Billy & Ducky Dee, is the story of Silly Billy, a lonely boy, who discovers a new friend in Ducky Dee, a rapping MC. Pretty simple stuff about friendship, but told using urban rhyme.

CLICK AN IMAGE TO ENLARGE

The book is nicely illustrated by his pal, Matthew Boffemmyer, using pen and colored pencil. Some of the artwork has been left uncolored in this "color me more" edition, so that readers can add their own touches.

The official book launch will take place 12:30 to 3 p.m., April 10, at the Cannon Beach Indie Author & Book Fair. Both the author and illustrator will be signing at the event that will showcase about two dozen indie authors from around the northwest.

"Hell, Heaven and Back" is Now Available on Amazon

Twenty days early and my new novel is available on Amazon in print ($9.99) or for Kindle $2.99 or FREE for Prime members). 

I'll also have copies to sign and mail on the 23rd ($10 postpaid)!

Read earlier post below or at Amazon for the description. And here's the video trailer:

New Speculative Fiction Novel Released Leap Day 2016

The final cover design by G. Zschomler
"I felt like I was channeling J.J. Abrams
with so many lens flares." 

The new book, pictured left, is on schedule for its February 29, 2016 release. What you see at the left is the final cover design. (Below and on the right you may also view the back cover.) I've also included the book's video trailer at the end of this post.

Before you go there here's a couple snippets from the opening of the book:

I

t has long been speculated that parallel worlds (or universes) exist side by side—or, rather, together in the same space; one, perhaps, within another within another. Although imagined, never in the wildest dreams of scientists, has anyone ever thought it possible to travel inter-dimensionally. And no one—no one—ever believes me when I tell them that I have, in fact, achieved that very feat...

S

o, there I was in a funk, licking my wounds and trying to decide if I should quit before they had the chance to can me. I was crumpled into my desk chair, wallowing in self-pity, pondering the sad state of human beings and questioning my calling when into my study walked a woman I had never seen before.

You may enlarge images by double
clicking them. Art by G. Zschomler

     In her hand she held a staff of the most grizzled wood, twisted, but worn smooth. She was the most ancient woman I’d ever seen and I’d seen some doozies down here (you can’t unsee the sagging, wrinkly sight of an aged woman sunbathing in a bikini on the beach).

     She looked well beyond old-age—craggy, leathery, thin to the point of frail, ashen and gray of hair—as if she’d actually come back from the grave where she might have spent more than a few decades.

     Mind you, she was gnarled and well-weathered, but not haggard, and didn’t appear to have the stink of death upon her. In fact, she smelled of jasmine, pine and cinnamon (sort of like Christmas), which was really quite lovely. I remember thinking: Perhaps they were burial spices?  

     Not only had I never seen her before (and I would know this because she was extremely peculiar) I was taken aback immediately by her manner of dress. The woman wore a long fur overcoat; black and white striped stockings, combat boots; a flour-sack prairie dress, and an aviator’s cap—complete with steam-punk type goggles cocked atop the cap.

    She extended a crooked, knobby finger and inquired of my identity, almost as if it weren’t a question at all.

     “You Pastor Micah Rickmond?” 

"I wrote this book to address questions we all have by sharing experiences similar to those we all endure, but I did it using a sci-fi vehicle which makes the story especially intriguing." ~the author

Preorders are now being accepted for signed copies ($10 plus post). Email me at: gregory.zschomler@gmail.com

BOOK LAUNCH at Beach Books in Seaside, Oregon

Yes, the new book arrives early and just in time for "Written in the Sand" at Beach Books in Seaside, Oregon! 

Come on out and get your signed copy hot of the press!

Details on the event here.

Here's what first reviewers are saying:

"Greg has written some great material. These scripts are delightful, creative and fun! It can be tricky and delicate to write material for a church audience and still maintain a high degree of artistic integrity. Greg has done it! These scripts don't "preach" but they do make you think and are highly entertaining. A welcome addition to add to my resources!" ~Chuck Neighbors, Masters Image Productions

New Book Release October 30, 2015

In this new collection of ten sketches and two one-act plays, you’ll find good, clean drama that can be performed and enjoyed by all ages.This is a must have collection for you theater ministry or drama class.

Included are two Christmas sketches, two Easter sketches, a Thanksgiving sketch, plus skits on dating, family, communication, evangelism, giving and more for casts of two to ten players.

From the Foreword by Dennis Sparks: 

“Reading Greg’s writings and musings are like getting into Mr. Peabody’s Way Back Time Machine and waxing nostalgic about times long past or thrusting forward into the not-so-distance future...”

Advance orders are being accepted NOW. Get yours in time for the holidays!

NW Book Festival in Portland's Pioneer Square

It's that time of year again. The 7th annual NW Book Festival is just around the corner. Mark your calendar for Saturday, July 25. 

The event fills the Pioneer Courthouse Square at the corner of SW Morrison and SW Sixth Avenue and runs from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Many, many NW authors and publishers will have booths and there are two NIWA tables. You'll find my books* with them at booth number 10.

The event is FREE, but be sure to bring along cash (or plastic) to buy books.

<Watch for my newest book, Plays and Sketches for Schools & Churches, coming this fall. 

Also (hopefully) coming next year (2016): The new Bayou Boys Adventure, Alien Ambush; Big Papa Zee's Tex Mex and Southwest Cookbook; and To Hell and Back (a novel).

First Look at an Illustration for "Louie, the Lonely Lighthouse" Coming May 2015!

I am pleased to announce some very important news concerning my upcom-ing book Louie, the Lonely Lighthouse, due out in May. Hold on to your hats!

"Gone were the days when ships navigated by the sun by day
and by the stars at night." from the text by Greg Zschomler.

For several months I have been doing two things: 1) attempting to illustrate the book myself and 2) working with another artist to illustrate the book. Frankly, I was pursuing the two paths because I wasn't sure which one would work best.

Though I made several attempts with a variety of media, I was not happy with my own abilities to produce what I saw in my head, nor could I find the right technique.

The illustrator I was working with I met more than a year ago at a book fair. I liked her work then and I contacted her last year before Thanksgiving about illustrating Louie. She very much wanted to do so. I asked her to pitch me some sample drawings/paintings.

Note: My experimentation did result in my illustrating the cover of my last book, Rocketman.

Anyway, over the past several months she worked hard to produce pieces that would suit me. I saw several styles--some too cartoony, some too realistic--and, although her work was amazing, I wasn't sure she could do quite do what I wanted. The talent was there and I could tell she was very versatile, but I was doubting. Neither of us was giving up just yet (but I was pursuing the other option, just in case). And I was beginning to sweat it.

I'm glad we continued to work together--refining the style. She has been so very good about taking criticism and suggestion from me (and I can be a real pain) and, over time, we have settled into something wonderful. I think you're going to agree.

Needless to say, though she has been working entirely on spec up until this point, today Roxanne Bowman and I signed our contract making the collaboration official. In a few days I will release the cover art, but I have included one of the inside illustrations with this post for your preview (see above).

Roxanne is a painter, illustrator and wonderful digital artist (which I find amazing at her age) living in Florence, Oregon. Here is her bio:

"At the Age of 7 I had a childhood experience that would alter the future for me. I had been raised in a Parochial school. I was a poor student [and] getting Ds was the best I could do. I had a priest and two nuns speaking with my mom in front of me, saying, 'I'd better get a good man to marry me because I'd never amount to anything with my grades.'  I determined at that moment... the montra 'watch me suckers' running through my brain there after. After a harried life, three daughters a broken marriage, and now a successful second marriage I found a chance to fulfill my dream of [being] the first in my family to attain a college degree. I am a senior aged woman who has fulfilled that dream with the educational excellence of my college at Suma Cum Laude'. And although some say I am 'over the hill' at 62, I find my life and my degree a start to an exciting life for my future."

"ROCKETMAN: From the Trailer Park to Insomnia and Beyond" COMING VERY SOON

I have a new book coming out in a month! (February 19) 

Yeah, sort of a surprise to me, too. 

It's an anthology; one I've been working on since last year, but didn't expect to release until this fall.. Ruth and I have been collecting stories and other pieces that I've written over the last decade or so. And it's come together faster than I expected.

I'd been working on other projects (namely writing the fourth Bayou Boys Adventure: Alien Ambush,;and a new childrens' picture book: Louie, the Lonely Lighthouse (which I am attempting to illustrate myself).

But, with the announcement of the NIWA Book Booth at the rapidly upcoming Portland Spring Home and Garden Show (Feb. 19-23), I felt prompted to finish the anthology in time for the show.

I immediately pushed the other projects aside (Louie will still come out in May, but the April release for Alien Ambush has been moved to "summer"), and pushed to complete the anthology (which was about 3/4 done anyway). It went rather smoothly.

The manuscript is now complete and has gone through the editorial process. It is completely laid out and nearly ready for the press (there's the print proof pass to complete). The cover is well into process, but not quite done. If all goes well that should be ready tomorrow.

BUT YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THAT STUFF! You want to know what the book is about. So here it is:

There are a variety of pieces; it's very eclectic. There are a half dozen poems, two of them are new--one written specifically for the book.

There are lots of photographs, many are from my childhood, but there are also quite a few landscape and art photos that I have taken over the past twenty years (though the bulk of them are recent)

And there are the stories.

There's Rocketman: I Think It's Been a Long Time about growing up in the trailer park. It's an amusing story about life during the cold war and space race.

Then there's Insomnia: And Then There Were Kids about having babies. (What it was like having eight of them.)

In between there are stories about having a dog, playing baseball, dealing with bullies, celebrating Christmas, raising a turkey, bus travel, picking strawberries, being in a band, understanding women, stuff about my old man and my little sister, hunting and a few surprises.

Most of the book is humorous and most of the stories are true. There is one piece of flash fiction, one commentary, one essay, one mash-up, but, aside from the poems, the rest are amusing (and sometimes touching) stories. Several of the pieces have been published elsewhere (like in The Columbian), but several (a half dozen) are brand new.

So, you've got many of the classics that people are always requesting that I find and re-post, and the never before seen (destined to be classic).

YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS BOOK! And Pre-Orders are now being taken.

Here's a little something from an advance reader:

“Inside, you’ll encounter a humorous and bitter-sweet slice of Americana. Always entertaining and encouraging, often auto-biographical, ROCKETMAN will take the reader on a joy ride of wit and wisdom. This work transcends the humble anthology and becomes a conduit of lessons-learned by a very smart man who’s lived abundantly. It’s a multi-vitamin for the soul that you must dive into right now (unless you plan to set aside time for a warm drink and a fire).”

~from the Foreword by author Andy R. Bunch, Diner Tales

BOOK LAUNCH: New Children’s Picture Book Relates Bible Hero Story about Samson

Cannon Beach, Ore. author Gregory Zschomler (formerly of Ridgefield, Wash.) and Vancouver, Wash. illustrator April Bullard are excited to debut their new children’s picture book “I’m Samson,” said Sydney.

The book, for children six and under, is the telling of a young boy who imagines, by role playing, that he’s the Bible hero Samson. It is the creators’ hope that the volume will be the first in a series about Sydney’s playful imaginations of Bible characters.

The official launch will take place from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., November 15 at the Early Bird Holiday Bazaar in the Astoria Armory, on 17th St. in Astoria, Ore. Both the author and illustrator will be on hand to do personalized signings.

In addition authors G.S. Coltman and Andy R. Bunch will be on hand with their new books. Coltman, from Seaside, will be selling/signing Max's Great Sea Adventure and Bunch, from Vancouver, his newest book Diner Tales.

Samson will also be available in independent bookstores in the Vancouver/Portland metro area and north Oregon coast communities the following week.

Their book is designed to introduce children to the Bible story in a way they can relate to, through whimsical verse and bright, clever pictures. The edition will make a lasting and loving Christmas gift.

Bullard is the author and illustrator of the book The Sock Thief and Zschomler is the author of the Bayou Boys Adventure series for middle readers. All their books will be available at the event.

Here's what folks are saying:

"My kids delighted in this retelling of Samson's story. The simple retelling was creative and easy to understand. A fun modern parable for kids." ~ Brock D. Eastman, author of The Quest for Truth series; he works with the Adventures in Odyssey brand at Focus on the Family and is the father of three.

“This book will be a favorite book for early readers. The illustrations are detailed and it’s fun to point out the tiny details of everyone's childhood memories. The biblical message is simply put as seen through the eyes of the mighty Sydney. The follow-up for the Biblical verses gives an opportunity to follow up alone or with your child to learn more.” ~ Suzi (a grandmother of three)

“A good way to get kids interested in Bible stories…and get them asking questions... I think the premise of the book is a realistic scenario. Kids often make believe stories they've heard and sometimes blur the lines between their present reality and past reality/biblical stories.” ~ Bethany (mother of two boys)

Now For Sale: LIGHTS, CAMERA, WORSHIP!

The NEW Second Edition of LIGHTS, CAMERA, WORSHIP! will be officially available as a paperback on February 28, 2014. That's when I'll have copies on hand to sign and sell. The books sell for $14.99.

HOWEVER, you can pre-order your copy now from Amazon and have it in five days. It is also available as an eBook for just $9.99 and you can have it TODAY!

15 Fantastic Chapters that will help you transform your ministry.

Book Release Party

I have committed to debuting the book at WORSHIP NW. Dates are Feb. 28 and Mar. 1. The event is in Keizer, Ore. I'll be sharing the space with author Andy R. Bunch who will be showcasing his book "On Becoming a Man."

Come on out and see us and get a signed copy of the book or order on Amazon. (Note, we'll also both be at the Portland Home and Garden Show this weekend (Feb. 20-23). [Note: LCW will not be available at the H&G Show event.]

Now Available for Immediate Download

My newest book, Big Papa Zee's Cajun and Caribbean Cookbook, is now available on Kindle as an ebook.

Download the ebook edition here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GXHY5VY

To order it in paperback, either wait until it comes out on Amazon or order by contacting me at gregory.zschomler@gmail.com

I Have a New Book Coming Out!

I have a new book coming out in time for Christmas (2013)! It's a cookbook.

Yes, indeed.

Read all about it here:
http://gregoryezschomler.blogspot.com/p/books.html

"GOD DISTORTED" Author John Bishop; iPad Giveaway

Click here for your chances to win.